Relationships That Were, Bonds That Are And Ties That Will Always Be.

If you had a chance to go back in time and do things differently, would you? Would you make the same mistakes? Behave the same way? Would you be a little less harsh and a little more gentle ? A little less naive and a little more wiser? A little less distracted and a little more focused? A little less selfish and little more giving? I know I would. Knowing what I know now, I would definitely do it over if I had the chance.
However, this doesn't mean, that I regret those blunders and slip ups. Sure, some of them were ineradicable. But does it help to dwell upon those indelible memories? No. It doesn't. It was experience and lessons that I had to learn. So I keep all the good reminiscences instead of the bad. And all those good recollections are worth all the pain of the bad ones. If anything, those times gave me some people and memoirs to prize.

In two years, just two years my life changed. And what changed it, were the people in it. Be it the ones who left, or the ones who entered or the ones who stayed throughout and faced it all. The ones who left, thought me to be strong. They taught me, that all good things come to an end, and therefore I should not waste a minute in telling someone how much they mean to me. They taught me, that letting go isn't easy. Its a dark and grievous place to be. But once you get to the end, and you finally see the sun, all that pain and grief that led you to hate, you realize none of it was ever worth it. What was worth it were the lessons and moments that came from it.

The people who entered taught me to believe.Taught me to love and not expect anything in return. They taught me to see things beyond my world and my realm of contentment. They made me see beauty in the simplest of things, to acknowledge flaws and work on them. To appreciate everything that I am, and everything that I could be. Love comes in various forms, sometimes in ways completely unexpected. You dont only have to find that one True Love to gain happiness. It can be love enacted and expressed in ways unimaginable. And as, each new individual entered my life, I realized how in love I was. How in awe I was of these beings. Be it as a brother, a sister, a best friend,  an acquaintance, a mutual friend, or something more... I loved every one of them.

The ones who stayed throughout, were the ones who inspired and influenced me the most. Like fireflies in the dark, they lit up the path for me. Whether it was family or whether it was friends. Family showed me, that no matter what, they would never lose faith in me or fail to love me. When I needed picking up and fixing, they would put me together, because that is what family is for. To love and to nurture. As would my friends. They would stick with me through thick and thin, and like beautiful seraphs would guide and harbor me with their prayers. Whether they lived next door, in the same house or oceans away, I would never abscond from their hearts and minds as they would never depart mine. They would, as they have throughout, bring out the best in me and keep me beautiful within.
So, if I had a chance to go back and do things differently, I would. Because knowing what I know now, I would look forward to the departure of the ones that were meant to leave and eagerly await the arrival of the ones that eventually came to matter.

The Little Things. Like Turning 18.

Turning 18 isn't something great. In fact it just brings you a step closer to your grave. My best friend even mentioned that it was NOTHING for a Turtle who lived for over 150 years. (Yeah. That made me feel a whole lot better.)But when you have people who love you to celebrate it with, it brings in a feeling of nostalgia. At one point you want to scream at them for going through so many efforts, and in that same moment you want to hold on to them and never let them go BECAUSE they've gone through with it. Its not about the gifts or the flowers, or the birthday cards. It's just their presence that counts. You can make cupcakes with one, you can walk aimlessly around with another..while she hands you a SOCK for your birthday! You can spend every minute of everyday with 4 others. And you can just lend a listening ear to another. OR you can never even meet some of them, and they'll still be with you. The point is, they were, are and always will be part of who you are. Part of what's brought you to this day. Endless sessions of Harry Potter obsessing!! Salvatore and Winchester brother drooling, High School Musical singing, jam sessions and band rehearsals, boyfriend n crush teasing, doing childish things like watching animated movies in 3D, sitting on swings, making your own pizza and getting ice cream on your face, having late night pillow fights and games of I Spy. OR doing grown up stuff like downing bottles of Japanese booze and acting like a total badass! These are memories and little things that have etched themselves into your brain. And they wont leave you...not if you dont want them to. Life has its way of sneaking up on us. And being 18 comes with certain ground rules and responsibilities. You can't take on that responsibility until you are a mature adult. But when exactly do you get there? 18 ? Maybe...maybe not. But while you're sitting and waiting for that day to approach you, you're missing out on the most significant parts of your life...THE LITTLE THINGS.

So..Hold on to every day and every moment of your life. Whether its giving you joy or making you cry. And make the best of now. Don't hesitate or wait to see what happens. Its very rarely that you get second chances to make things right or bring back those memories! And after all you ARE getting closer to your grave! So, I say go with the flow. Take it one day at a time. When life wants you to be an adult it'll tell you, in some insignificant way. Dont rush to do things you dont want to. Just live the way you're supposed to.  

So, Enjoy life. Fall in love. Live in fantasies. Make mistakes. Catch the wrong train or bus. Get lost somewhere. And at the end of the day, make your life exactly like the way you dreamed it to be! (:

Daddy's Little Princess.

He holds her close to him. Close enough to feel her breath against his chest. She opens her eyes and looks up at him, a peculiar look lighting up the delicate features of her face. And looking back at her, he knows right then and there, that his life has changed forever. Nothing in this world could make him feel the way he does when he holds that little baby girl in his arms. Shes tiny and fragile, but at the same time strong in her fathers grasp. She was a fighter, right from the minute she was born. And he can see it in her eyes. His eyes. And in that moment, he vows to protect her and guard her with his life.

Its 5 years now, and its her first day of school. Shes excited but shes nervous. She doesn't wanna leave her daddy's hand, but he assures her that he'll always be one step behind. So she lets him go, and with confidence that her father will always be there to catch her, walks ahead. And he watches her, as she walks into the gate. In that polka dotted uniform, with those two pig tails. And he wonders when and how those 5 years passed them by. One minute, she was taking her first steps and saying her first words and the next she's walking alone into kindergarten. He wishes he could have those moments back. Live through them everyday. And with a tear in his eye, he watches as she reaches the door, turns around and blows him one last kiss before going in.

Shes 15 now, and shes growing up beautifully. Shes a teenager and her daddy's trying to cherish every moment with her. That is, whatever moment he CAN spend with her. Shes running to school, for classes, all on her own now. She's hanging out with friends, going for parties, sleepovers..and by the time she comes home, shes tired and wants to go to bed. Her dada watches as his little princess goes through life and the issues that it throws at her, and he wants to be a part, but somethings changed. He can't seem to reach out to her the way he used to. Shes in a phase where everything she does is right and its all rosy. And she loves him no doubt, but she's drifting away...Nevertheless, she talks to him when she has the chance or gives him a peck on the cheek before leaving for school, but she hasn't been opening up to her daddy and he can see it in her eyes. Something, he can't figure out what, has changed.

Now, shes 17 and that father-daughter relationship they once had, is almost diminishing. She still loves him and honors and respects him, but she cant find the right words to tell him how much he means to her. He wants to be there for her, but he just cant seem to find the right way and is too scared that the wrong one might push her away and end in chaos.

But as she turns 18, and has to make decisions that could change her life, and the lives of her family members, she KNOWS that she wants her daddy in her life, and she can't afford to lose him. Be it physically or mentally. He is her pillar of strength, her guiding light. He has taught her to be a fighter and to not let the world bring her down., he has taught her to love and appreciate life. He has brought her up to be the strong-willed, mature and beautiful woman that she is today. She knows that he misses that little girl who would make cards and write poetry that didn't really rhyme to show her daddy how much she loved him... Deep down she does too. And so now, she will do everything she can to make up for the times she wasn't there by his side. Because now that she's a little older and a little wiser, she realizes, that a father will only want whats best for his child. And she can't blame him for wanting to look after his lil baby girl.
So, even though she doesn't normally say it, and even though she doesn't openly show it, her daddy was, is and always will be the most important thing in her life. Even when she finds a man, who loves her and protects her just the way her father does, he will always be second in her eyes. Because her daddy will ALWAYS come first. And the man she LOVES will understand that, no matter what. She WAS daddy's little Princess, she IS daddy's little princess, and she ALWAYS will be Daddy's Little Princess... in Daddy's heart.

I love you Dada. Happy Father's Day. :)

An Author To Believe In.

Hatred and love are our biggest weaknesses. We love, we put our hearts out there and we get them broken.
We hate. And that hate turns into prejudice, fury and rage. It becomes a burden that becomes excessively heavy. But we carry it anyway.
We sit at home, safe and comfortable in our little bubble of bliss and we dream...of love, patience and tenderness, we believe... in magic and miracles, and we hope for forgiveness and understanding.
We are all so caught up in what we want and who we want, we fail to understand that its not in our hands.  True. Its our fate and our destiny...but its ALL in God's hands.
Yes, we shape our own futures, we pave our own path to greatness, we choose the people we love, but we wouldn't be who we are, without a little help from above. All of us are so hindered in this everyday drama that we call life, that we never stop, take a moment and thank God for everything that he's done. We build and make our lives, but its He who writes the book. Sits up late hours and finishes one chapter after another,editing and re-editing, proofreading, deleting, bringing in new characters, taking away the old... ultimately creating the stories of our lives giving each story its own uniqueness. He gives us what we want, what our hearts desire the most...well thats if it's meant for us and will bring out the best in us. The least we could do, is just let him know how much he means to us. And how significant his presence is in our lives.
So maybe it's time now, to just thank him. At least once or twice in a day. Like perhaps the first thing in the morning when you get up, or the last thing you do before you go to bed at night. You have a problem, a fear, a doubt, take it to Him. He'll solve it for you. He's planned your whole life ahead for you. You just dont know it. Because he's letting you call the shots. Letting you take the risks that you feel you should. And when you fall headfirst, he'll pick you up and mend you just like he created you.
So whatever caste, creed, or religion you may be, you still are, and always will be a child of God. So when you need someone to carry you through the dark tunnels that blur your vision of the future, close your eyes, say a prayer, thank him, and He'll be there. All you need is a little faith. Because after all, He is your creator. Your father, your light in the midst of darkness, the author of your story...and you are his child.

No, I'm not a saint, or a martyr or even anything close to that.
But I BELIEVE. And I know, my faith will take me places. And also because...I'M GOD'S FAVORITE CHILD. ^_^

Something Stupid.

Have you ever done something stupid ? Like really really stupid? Oh, who am I kidding! Of course you have. Everybody at some point in their lives have done something stupid. Stupidity sometimes is inevitable. It can surprise you, as well as the people around you because...well, its stupidity. But just because you do something stupid, doesn't mean that you should be judged and labelled a stupid dumb individual. Because believe me, even geniuses at times tend to make GENI-ASSES of themselves.
Stupid decisions basically come from the need to be impulsive. Sure, impulsive decisions sometimes are good. It makes you feel bad ass, and everyone needs a little bad ass-ness in their lives. Certain impulsive decisions have a good effect. Like randomly landing up at your best friends house and surprising her on a lazy day. But the other times, it just leads to a number of chaotic situations, which end up making you look stupid. Because most of the time you're not thinking of the repercussions of your impulsiveness. You're in the moment, and you just want to do it. Its that stubborn urge that you WANT to fulfill. 
However, even though these impulsive decisions make you look stupid, they also make you laugh. They make you think you're crazy and sometimes that's just what you need. I myself, am a pretty impulsive person and that has got me into A LOT of trouble and a number of embarrassing moments in the past. Some of the times, I've turned my instincts down, but the rest of the times, I've very SMARTLY landed myself in a STUPID situation. (Did you see what I did there?) But the thing is, I'm not ashamed. Sure, there are times when I look back and want to hit myself in the face...with a chair...but it doesn't change the fact that I dont regret it. I let my instincts take over and took a ride on the crazy train. So what. It was experiences and parts of what I would someday call the best days of my life. 
So, is it good to do stupid things or make impulsive decisions? Not really, no. But its not bad either. After all, you do need to have a balance between normal and crazy. So do stupid things. Put yourself in crazy situations. Make those prank calls and ask them if their refrigerators are running. Show up uninvited and crash a party...well actually, make sure its some one you know. You dont want to land up in jail and tell your children about that 10 years down the line. Catch a wrong train or bus, get lost in the middle of nowhere. It may embarrass you to a point where you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole, but 5 years from now, you could look back and think....Man, I did some stupid shit. And it will definitely tickle the funny bone in you. Cause at the end of the day, you wont get these years back. And then when the time comes, face your responsibilities, with maturity and sophistication. And BELIEVE that you'll do a great job and be a remarkable human being. Because you had the best childhood or teen-hood -or whatever you'd like to call it- that you could ever ask for or ever imagine.
So go all out, and dont regret the stupid decisions. Because everyone at some point in their lives have done something stupid.