Nothing, of late, has been inspiring me to write. Nothing grasps my attention in the way that it would. Neither do my emotions come out like it normally should. You'd think I was having a phase where my emotions are turned off. Or it's probably just that time of the month and my moods are running crazy. But no. I highly doubt that's the case. You see, for the past week or two, I've been channeling my emotions, my attention and all of my energy toward a different kind of activity. Fangirling. (Yes, I'm THAT girl. :P )
So I decided to write about THIS set of my emotions, to put across the idea of what fangirling really is. Well, underneath all the screams and hysterical giggles and fits of ecstatic almost manic happiness.
I have this very close friend of mine who's a fangirl. So I'm going to use her as an example. For those of you who know me, there's a high chance you'll know who she is. But for the ones who don't, lets leave her a mystery, shall we. So this 'mystery best friend' of mine is not just ANY fangirl. She takes shipping ABC's CASTLE and BECKETT,(Caskett, for those of you who've been living under a rock. ) to a whole new level. They are her all time OTP, (One True Pair) ALWAYS. She's admin of at least 1 Castle page on almost every social network. She trends hastags at the speed of lightning. She eats up every update and promotional information there is about Castle like a hungry hyena. She cries at the end of a sad episode and goes red in the face with a fit of giggles when it ends well. Sometimes she's crying and laughing at the same time, and you don't know what to think. Like I said, she's no ordinary fangirl. And at first, I didn't quite understand. I mean, sure. I fangirl too. (Although I'll never be as good as her. ) And trust me when I say, I have TONS of fandoms, Harry Potter, The Mortal Instruments and Percy Jackson being some of the main few. Everything amazes me and everything captures my attention. But it wasn't until recently that it really REALLY hit home.
The thing with me is, I love to read. When I have a book in my hand, you could be standing right in from of me and I wouldn't know. I tune everyone and everything out. So my fangirling isn't really, like my 'mystery best friend''s is, 'The TV Show' kind. I like TV shows, don't get me wrong! But when I read a book, I'm transported to a completely different world. And THAT'S when the fangirling begins. Because I don't limit my emotions and my expectation of these fictional characters. Whether they play a positive part or have a negative role, they intrigue me. I imagine these characters as if they were a part of my life. As if I were a part of every little situation in their world. I picture what they would be like in reality. Their features, their traits. Whether they're good or bad, they take a place in my heart. I try to understand and comprehend what drives them. And I fall in love. Over and over again. I fell in love with Sydney Carton from A Tale Of Two Cities and Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights solely because of the fact that I understood where they were coming from without really understanding how I understood it. When I obsess about Jace Wayland/ Herondale from the Mortal Instruments or about William Herondale from the Infernal Devices, I don't do it because they're HOT or BRITISH. (Which they are, no doubt about that. :P) But, I do it because I see the ideal man in William. I see a warrior. I see a man who would protect the ones he loves with his life. I see Jace as what a man should be or at least strive to be like. That beneath the sarcasm and humor, the 'I don't give a rat's ass about anybody but myself' facade, and walls that touch the sky, is a boy just waiting to be understood and loved. And that's what amazes me. (I know, I know. I sound very crazy.)
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, fangirling isn't just jumping and screaming and yelping and gasping like many people think it is. It's much much more than that. My 'mystery best friend' doesn't just obsess about Castle because she's got nothing else to set her mind on. She does it because sometimes she needs to escape from reality. She learns from the characters, she feels what they feel, she understands, she relates. It lets her believe that there are happy endings despite the cruelness of the world. Even if it is temporary and fictional. It gives her hope and a reason to believe in something.
I couldn't agree more. To be aware of your emotions is a gift in itself. But to able to accept it and channel it effortlessly is a marvelous talent. And to me, THAT'S what fangirling is all about. Not a psychotic, boy crazy hysterical being, but someone with the ability to dream. Someone with a beautiful and vivid imagination.
Someone who believes.
So I decided to write about THIS set of my emotions, to put across the idea of what fangirling really is. Well, underneath all the screams and hysterical giggles and fits of ecstatic almost manic happiness.
I have this very close friend of mine who's a fangirl. So I'm going to use her as an example. For those of you who know me, there's a high chance you'll know who she is. But for the ones who don't, lets leave her a mystery, shall we. So this 'mystery best friend' of mine is not just ANY fangirl. She takes shipping ABC's CASTLE and BECKETT,(Caskett, for those of you who've been living under a rock. ) to a whole new level. They are her all time OTP, (One True Pair) ALWAYS. She's admin of at least 1 Castle page on almost every social network. She trends hastags at the speed of lightning. She eats up every update and promotional information there is about Castle like a hungry hyena. She cries at the end of a sad episode and goes red in the face with a fit of giggles when it ends well. Sometimes she's crying and laughing at the same time, and you don't know what to think. Like I said, she's no ordinary fangirl. And at first, I didn't quite understand. I mean, sure. I fangirl too. (Although I'll never be as good as her. ) And trust me when I say, I have TONS of fandoms, Harry Potter, The Mortal Instruments and Percy Jackson being some of the main few. Everything amazes me and everything captures my attention. But it wasn't until recently that it really REALLY hit home.
The thing with me is, I love to read. When I have a book in my hand, you could be standing right in from of me and I wouldn't know. I tune everyone and everything out. So my fangirling isn't really, like my 'mystery best friend''s is, 'The TV Show' kind. I like TV shows, don't get me wrong! But when I read a book, I'm transported to a completely different world. And THAT'S when the fangirling begins. Because I don't limit my emotions and my expectation of these fictional characters. Whether they play a positive part or have a negative role, they intrigue me. I imagine these characters as if they were a part of my life. As if I were a part of every little situation in their world. I picture what they would be like in reality. Their features, their traits. Whether they're good or bad, they take a place in my heart. I try to understand and comprehend what drives them. And I fall in love. Over and over again. I fell in love with Sydney Carton from A Tale Of Two Cities and Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights solely because of the fact that I understood where they were coming from without really understanding how I understood it. When I obsess about Jace Wayland/ Herondale from the Mortal Instruments or about William Herondale from the Infernal Devices, I don't do it because they're HOT or BRITISH. (Which they are, no doubt about that. :P) But, I do it because I see the ideal man in William. I see a warrior. I see a man who would protect the ones he loves with his life. I see Jace as what a man should be or at least strive to be like. That beneath the sarcasm and humor, the 'I don't give a rat's ass about anybody but myself' facade, and walls that touch the sky, is a boy just waiting to be understood and loved. And that's what amazes me. (I know, I know. I sound very crazy.)
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, fangirling isn't just jumping and screaming and yelping and gasping like many people think it is. It's much much more than that. My 'mystery best friend' doesn't just obsess about Castle because she's got nothing else to set her mind on. She does it because sometimes she needs to escape from reality. She learns from the characters, she feels what they feel, she understands, she relates. It lets her believe that there are happy endings despite the cruelness of the world. Even if it is temporary and fictional. It gives her hope and a reason to believe in something.
I couldn't agree more. To be aware of your emotions is a gift in itself. But to able to accept it and channel it effortlessly is a marvelous talent. And to me, THAT'S what fangirling is all about. Not a psychotic, boy crazy hysterical being, but someone with the ability to dream. Someone with a beautiful and vivid imagination.
Someone who believes.
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