Carpe Diem.

I've realized that waiting is a disease.
A form or sense of growing despair.
I've realized that waiting for someone or something to happen breathes nothing but hopelessness as you stay still- never moving, not for a second- and hold on.
I've realized that life is not going to stop and wait for you to make your decisions because it is too busy making its own.
I've realized that someone I love today could be someone I don't see eye to eye with tomorrow.
I've realized that wasting time- precious infinite moments, hours or even seconds- on trivial worries does nothing but feed the monsters that I have allowed to reside within me.
I've realized that if I don't tell someone how much they mean to me in that instant, I will never get the chance.
I've realized that if I don't tell them how sorry I am, they will never know forgiveness.
I've realized that I need to be able to feel in order to be able to live. 
Not just exist. But feel alive.

I believe in straightforward conversations.
In telling someone what their existence means to me. In telling them of the marks they've left on the pages of my story- burns, tears stains, finger prints- muddy, bruised and all.
For all I know, I could've done the same to them.
I believe in passion. In living everyday as if it were my last.
I believe in unwrapping a person's soul like the gift on Christmas morning that has been teasing and taunting me for months on end.
I don't believe in waiting. I don't believe in calculating moves. I don't believe in delicate beginning rushes.
I'm not impulsive because I'm reckless. I'm impulsive because I'm petrified of losing a moment forever, never knowing what could become of it.

For if there's one thing I've realized, it's that I'm terrified of inevitably blinking out of existence with things left undone and words left unsaid.