Problems, Decisions. They never end.

Decisions, choices, problems they’re all an integral part of ones life. So many things to decide, so many choices to make. Who you want to be, where you want to live, what you want to become, who are your friends and who aren’t, who are the people worth risking everything for, and who are the people worth losing…these are questions, a few among many, that clog your mind. Some have it all figured out. It’s all well planned and prepared in their heads. Some are confused because they can’t seem to decide what the right choice is, and are too scared to make the wrong one. And the rest, well they’re all just stuck in the middle of nowhere. Lost…not knowing which way to go, what to do, or even where to begin. When I was a kid, the only tough decision I ever had to make was, what flavor ice cream I wanted to have. Strawberry, vanilla or chocolate? Of course there would be those additional add on’s of bubble gum and rocky road or roasted almond and mint. And although these flavors were mouth wateringly delicious, my heart belonged with chocolate. No matter what, no matter which other flavor caught my attention, I would ALWAYS come back for chocolate. Chocolate was incomparable. Rich, dark, creamy--- okay. I’m digressing. My point is, as a child, you never had to make important life changing decisions and choices. It was always about ice cream, or what toy you wanted Santa to bring you for Christmas, or what your favorite color was, or your favorite cartoon show.

And then suddenly, you’re all grown up and wondering what college you’re going to go to. What dream, what career you’re going to pursue. From that moment on, everything in your life is a blur. Like a roller coaster ride gone completely out of control. You want to get off…you want to make it stop… but you can’t. So instead you just sit and wonder when and how your life got so complicated. Does it help that your hormones are running wild? Hell no. You like him, he doesn’t like you. Problem 1. He likes you, you don’t like him. Problem 2.  You both like each other but are too chicken to do ANYTHING about it. Problem 3. Then there’s the problem of actually being in a relationship. First it’s all rosy and mushy and then boom! It’s over. Like it never even happened. Long distance relationships, non-exclusive dating, jealousy, insecurity, breakups, arguments, fall outs, that aching desire to run your ex over with a bull dozer. (Okay. Maybe the last one was a bit extreme, but I know of a few who might actually like that idea.) Not to mention, the ancient problems of peer pressure, drugs, alcohol and other vices. You would go to any lengths, be something, someone you’re not just to impress the crowd. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. As long as you look cool. All of these situations just add up to each other and turn into one nice big pile of problems. Sure, all of these problems are part of life. Part of growing up. But they’re problems nonetheless. They tend to affect your decisions and influence your choices. And the aftermath of those choices and decisions end up being another add on to the already over flowing pile of Godforsaken problems.

And all at once, you wish you could be 5 again, crawl under a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa and watch Tom chase Jerry around the house like a mad cat. And the only problem you have to worry about is not meeting your friends at school the next day. Which is also kind of a good thing, because you’re being allowed to skip school!! You don’t have to ask God, for anything, except that he take care of the ones you love. Oh, and that he convinces mommy to buy you that awesome teddy bear you saw at the store the other day. NO problems, no life changing choices, no impulsive decisions. Just you. The 5 year old you. Innocent, Happy and Free.  

BUT you can’t. You’re not 5. You’re 18. And that pile of problems is still hanging around. Neither is it going anywhere, anytime soon. You’re still going to have to make those imperative decisions and take those plucky chances. So all you can do, all you NEED to do is suck it up and face the storm. It’ll surely occur to you that you can’t do it. That you’re not strong enough. But unless you TRY, you’ll never know. And believe you me, you’ll be surprised.